I think I just saw someone hide a body.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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