yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it was like eating out sand paper
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
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So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
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Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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