Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
