You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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