Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
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Do I have a choice?
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One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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