Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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