Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize