I think I can smell my own vagina right now
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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