I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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