we're blogging at a bar
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize