Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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