Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
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It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
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Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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