I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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