I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
