people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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