Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
