Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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