your thong is hanging out like whoa
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
there was a trapeze. enough said
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I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
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the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo