just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize