I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth