Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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