he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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