we have officially lost it.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
