similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
