Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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