So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
