is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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