Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
