Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
