I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
