That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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