Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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