What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
