I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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