Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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