I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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