Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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