I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
