so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
