I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
