Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
