I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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