'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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