Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
