yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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