Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
