I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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