why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
