cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
