rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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