i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
