And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
