hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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