You took a bar mat shot.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
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I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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