I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
