how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
