it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
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