i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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