I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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