the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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