Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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