R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
